Thirteen
by Haunted Obsidian
Summary: Another year passes, and still nothing. Forgive me, little Brother for being a failure.


**Title : Thirteen**

**Genre : Anime/Manga**

**Category : Full Metal Alchemist**

**Disclaimer : I won't even begin to divulge the situations the characters would've gotten into if I had owned them. **

**Summary : Another year passes, and still nothing. Forgive me, little Brother for being a failure.**

**Warnings : A-N-G-S-T**

**Rating : T**

Golden locks fell in front of equally golden orbs, covering them from the pale moonlight that was streaming over head. A wistful sigh escaped the lips of whom the hair and the eyes belonged to. Almost reluctantly, the boy sat up straight for a moment, stretching the aching muscles in his back, inwardly knowing no matter how many times he performed the action, his back would still be hurting later.

Pulling his knees up to his chest, he leaned forward, interlocking his fingers underneath the black material that clothed him. He gazed upwards at the large white orb that decorated the velveteen night sky, letting its rays temporarily dance in his vision before lowering his sight back to the cold, hard concrete slab he was sitting on.

Resting his chin on top of his knees, he took in his surroundings for the umpteenth time that night, hoping that the midnight train Mustang had told him about would still be running. Or, it could have just been a cruel joke the older man had decided to play on the younger boy. It wouldn't have been the first time.

Pressing his left cheek against his knees, he carefully pulled out the State issued pocket watch he received when he had become a State Alchemist. Flipping it open, the time read _11:53._

"If that man lied to me…," he muttered, his teeth grinding at the thought of the onyx eyed man sitting back in his comfortable office or home or wherever he chose to be, while the fourteen year old and his brother were out doing fieldwork, stuck in a town with a population of less than a hundred people, still not even sure how they got there. The boy was surprised they even had phone.

Closing the possession and placing it back into his pocket, he looked over at his little brother who was sitting some ten yards or so away, his head slumped in a restless state. The helmet that held his soul-filled eyes was dark, indicating that he was doing the best he could to put on the act of resting, which they both knew he only did for Edward's benefit.

_It shouldn't have to be that way, _the fourteen year old thought bitterly. He narrowed his eyes at the fact, knowing they'd been searching for far too long for the stone that would bring them back their bodies, and secretly, he felt it only to be his fault. But he knew now, he couldn't change the past, but only move forward and hope that they would finally find what they were looking for.

_You'll be thirteen today, and I bet you don't even remember, do you?_ His brow narrowed further at this, anger burning in his chest. A crisp wind blew around him, his golden locks going askew. The fire that burned in his golden orbs was lit and present, he looking as though he was ready to lose it. The cold temperature that flooded through the breeze didn't even faze him tonight, he was too angry to notice.

_We've been searching for four years, and still you're stuck in that damned metal body. I really have failed you, haven't I? _he questioned himself, the air stinging his orbs and causing them to water. He blinked back the saltine substance, not wanting to deal with the tears at the moment, as involuntary as they were.

His eyes slowly drifted back towards Alphonse once more, his heart breaking away piece by piece, knowing he would never understand the pain his little brother felt, unable to feel anything except emotions, and even those were limited.

He glanced down at his hands, carefully removing the gloves that covered both of them. He stuffed the white material into his coat pocket, stowing them away for when he actually needed them. He needed to feel this cold tonight, a reminder of what Alphonse couldn't feel.

The chill immediately soaked through his flesh hand, he watching as it started to turn a shade of pink, the cold slowly snaking its way underneath his skin. The flesh was a bit dry due to the freezing weather, some of it pealing off leaving behind a rather rough surface.

His golden orbs went to his other hand, the one that was always cold, seemingly no matter what temperature it was outside. The metal appeared black in the shade of the night sky, not its usual steely grey color. He could move it, true; make it function as though it were real, even if it wasn't. But at least he had that, Al didn't have anything…

But he was going to fix that, no matter what price he had to pay again. He was going to make things right, no matter the consequences. He only hoped his little brother didn't hate him afterwards.

His eyes widened slightly as tiny white particles slowly made their way down from the heavens, decorating the two hands he held out in front of him. He wanted to shiver, knowing it was probably about thirty degrees outside, but he stopped himself, continuously repeating that if Al couldn't feel anything, then he would feel for the both of them.

The snowflakes instantly dissolved as they hit his left hand, the flesh still warmer than the frozen specks that floated around him. But as they kissed the cool metal, they stayed in form, the cold that emanated from the metallic object being enough to let them sustain their shape. His brow narrowed at this, a tiny part of him wishing that he too could retain the flesh that he once had, but that dream would have to wait for another day; Al was his main priority and always would be.

He closed his eyes, numbness settling in his nerves. Even though it was late February, winter had decided that it wasn't done with its magnificence yet, laying down its white substance over the cold ground that covered the earth. Memories of another time placated the boy's sight, visions of two little boys having a snowball fight whisking their way through his head. They were so happy and content then…

But that was then, and this was now. They weren't two little boys anymore. They were young men, the quest they were on slowly turning them into just that. Even if both of their souls were aging, only one of their bodies were, and he was determined to change that.

A bell rang out in the distance, immediately grabbing the boy's attention. He looked up, golden locks blowing in and out of his face at the insistence of the wind. His heart beat slowed as he realized it was only a signal for the midnight hour, the beginning of a new day, Alphonse's thirteenth birthday.

Another sigh left his lips as he forced himself to his feet, prepared to tell Al that it looked as if they were going to be stuck their for the night. He jerked at the sound of the train, its hum faint but clearly approaching. Relieved, he made his way over to his little brother who was already on his feet as well, probably having heard the train minutes before the other boy.

"Looks like Colonel Mustang was right, Brother," the younger boy said as cheerfully as he could, knowing his older brother needed rest, and that a hard albeit warm train seat was much better than being outside in the frosty weather. "The train's coming."

"Yeah," Edward muttered, a saddened smile turning up the corners of his lips ever so slightly. "I guess so."

Alphonse turned towards the older boy, confusion rising in his voice. "Brother, what's wrong?" he asked, looking down at the fourteen year old.

"Nothing, I just want to get going. That's all," the blonde stated with a superficial grin, avoiding his brother's gaze. He pulled his jacket closer to him as the train approached, the bitter chill getting the better of him. He only hoped Alphonse hadn't caught sight of his involuntary shivering.

The thirteen year old was silent until they boarded the train, both of them taking seats in the back of the train. He watched as his brother curled up on the adjacent seat, the blonde obviously freezing by the looks of it, no matter how hard he tried to conceal it. Alphonse let out a breathless sigh, his gaze turning towards the window.

"It's okay, Ed, you don't have to say it. I already know," the boy initiated in a quiet voice, going almost unheard by his older brother. His stare dropped to his lap, knowing he couldn't change how his elder sibling felt about their situation.

"What are you talking about, Al?" Edward questioned sleepily, putting on the best act he could even though he knew the younger boy could see right through it.

"Never mind," Alphonse answered, with a touch of sadness in his voice. The truth was inevitable, and it could only be avoided for so long. He only hoped Ed would realize that one day.

The train moved along in silence with a few rumbles and screeching noises, but nothing out of the ordinary. A few hours later, that silence was broken by a distant, almost muffled voice.

"Happy Birthday, Al," Edward muttered softly, another year passing and the gift that he wanted so badly to give to his little brother still out of reach. _Maybe next year…_

Hearing a despondent reply of, "Thanks, Brother," he shifted, facing the seat. He didn't want the thirteen year old to see the silent tears that were trickling down his cheeks, reminders of the tears the other one tried to cry but couldn't.

_You'll be whole again one day, Al…I promise…_

_**Fin**_

**_Thanks for your help with the birthdays, everyone! I kind of averaged them out so... And if you're wondering(though probably not), the next chap of "Whispers..." will be up around Thursday. _:p**


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